How to Make the Very Best Mac & Cheese

July 6, 2013 admin Advice 2

It ain't pretty, but this is what it looks like when you mix it all together.

Who doesn’t love the Mac & Cheese? Sure, the lactose intolerant, but we’ll ignore mom for this one. As a ginger, she’s no stranger to being wonderfully unique. She should be all about the cheesiest of tasty stuff, so that’s her problem, not ours.

So you know about Mac & Cheese, and maybe your kids love it, but we can show you how to take it from “good” to
“the best food ever!”

The finished product melts so smooth and creamy in your face-hole. We threw on a dash of grated parmesan cheese for an extra little kick of deliciousness.
The finished product melts so smooth and creamy in your face-hole. We threw on a dash of grated parmesan cheese for an extra little kick of deliciousness.
Take any regular box of Mac & Cheese, it can even be the cheap, generic stuff, and boil it up. For our example, we’re using the real deal, but it doesn’t matter what kind you use.

Boil it, drain it, add the chalky powder, milk (lactose free optional) and margarine… AND… two to three ounces of Velveeta, cut into small, meltable cubelets.

They just dissolve right into the mix as you stir. They become invisible, but the taste is every bit there. Velveeta is uncommonly cheap cheese, buck for pound, and it melts as if it isn’t even really cheese, mostly because it probably isn’t.

For added fun you can dash in Italian Seasoning, Grated Parmesan Cheese, pepper or if you’re really adventurous, human foot shavings… no, I don’t actually recommend the last one, but it’s totally up to you.

For adult tastes, mild cheddar (better than sharp), blue cheese (just a dash otherwise it’s overpowering,) or any soft cheese. Hard cheeses make for an unpleasant texture. We tried Gouda, and not only was the taste overwhelming, it became stringy and weird. So, ya know, don’t do that.

Gallery photos here:

Any brand of Mac will work, even the cheap stuff. We got a good deal on Kraft Macaroni & Cheese at Winco, so we're using that.
Any brand of Mac will work, even the cheap stuff. We got a good deal on Kraft Macaroni & Cheese at Winco, so we’re using that.
You don't need butter, margarine is fine. We used Lactose-Free milk, then added about two-ounces of easy-melting Velveeta.
You don’t need butter, margarine is fine. We used Lactose-Free milk, then added about two-ounces of easy-melting Velveeta.
It ain't pretty, but this is what it looks like when you mix it all together.
It ain’t pretty, but this is what it looks like when you mix it all together.
The finished product melts so smooth and creamy in your face-hole. We threw on a dash of grated parmesan cheese for an extra little kick of deliciousness.
The finished product melts so smooth and creamy in your face-hole. We threw on a dash of grated parmesan cheese for an extra little kick of deliciousness.

2 Comments on How to Make the Very Best Mac & Cheese

  2. Cheddar isn’t bad, but it’s not the best. Any soft cheese (goat cheese too) is good. Never mind what the naysayers say about Velveeta, it’s almost entirely milk. It’s real cheese.

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