Aquarium Has all the Nemo Fun w/o any of the Headache

On the San Francisco waterfront is the most grand of trap de la tourist, and it’s called Pier 39. It’s nothing to shy away from, it’s popular for a reason with all its specialty shops, unique eateries and uncommon attractions of interest, but the one that took me in the most was the Aquarium of the Bay.

The Aquarium of the Bay was once called “Undersea World” but changed their name some time back. I guess it sounded more like a silly novelty (which it isn’t) or a distant cousin to that terrible film Waterworld (which it also is not.) Far from being a money-suckling attraction strictly for tourists, the place is one of a kind and well worth the visit. I’d argue they changed the name because the old one didn’t include the word “aquarium”, which it needs because that’s really what it is.

I come from Seattle, so I know my seafood and my aquaria, and this place didn’t tell me much in advance to make me want to see it. They pride themselves on featuring all the most interesting of the indigenous aqualife, such as starfish, sturgeons and itty-bitty sharks (which still look monstrous to me) and who wants to see that?

I wanted to see genetically mutated glow fish and face-devouring abyssian creatures, but I was along for the ride so I kept an open mind.

The Aquarium of the Bay has three stages of interest. The entrance level has some exotic fish in interesting tanks, including the unendingly swirling cloud of salty sardines and some Nemo fish too. It’s a fun entrance alright, but I’ve seen my fair share of aquariums (three in three years of life) so it was interesting, but nothing to write away from home about.

Undersea Aquarium offers exciting ceilingLeft – From the basement where you can see more schools than the Pac-10, fish swim happily around face, over head, and even under the walkway. It’s creepy, almost, the way us people are almost the ones on exhibit… And please, Mr. Fishies, don’t tap on the glass.

Then we took the elevator, and I just love taking elevators… but wait a second, why would I need to take an elevator? Where am I going? Oh my goodness, I got it just then, I was going under the sea, and even though I wasn’t greeted by an offensively racially stereotyped cartoon crustacean, what greeted me upon arrival was even better.

As it turns out, this bottom floor, the “dive” as they call it, is the reason they were once called Underwater World. What awaits you is the most peculiar fish tank you’ve ever encountered, and it was the first of its kind. The fish aren’t in the tank, you are in the tank and the fish surround you and look in at you. You get to walk through a safe, dry tube of acrylic glass that puts the exhibited fish all around you, and you can see them on all sides, above you, everywhere you look, really.

Did I say you can walk through it? Well, you don’t have to walk through it if you don’t want to because they have, get this, a meandering sidewalk that languidly saunters you throw it automatically if you prefer. Seriously, you can just step onto the sidewalk and let it patiently drag you through the exhibit. If your patience is as limited as mine, you can always step off it to stop in your tracks, and much like me, you can run like hell to go back to the beginning and see it all again.

The weirdest thing about it to me was that I finally understood how the fish feel with the whole “no tapping on the glass” thing, it’s a bit unsettling when you’re checking out the sturgeon and a dog fish bumps his snout against the glass right in front of you. Oh my!

And don’t feel like you have to go backwards through it — as me and the brothers couldn’t be stopped from doing repeatedly — because at the end of the walk is a doorway with a sign pointing out to you that you can just walk through it and go back through the undersea portion of the bay exhibit again. Dominic wanted to do it, but his memory is so poor I don’t think he knew that we’d already been through it.

petting aquarium
Above – Here you can see Baby-D pawing away at a friendly Starfish. His arm had to be held, of course, because if he was left to his own devices he’d have crawled right in and splashed around like he was a fish himself… which he isn’t, I promise.

Then we replaned the elevator and went upstairs and it just got weirder from there. Imagine a petting zoo that’s also an aquarium. It’s not just starfish poking, though you’re invited to do that too. No, up here you can see anemones, flounder, teeny sharkies (or dog fish, I guess), bat rays, leopard sharks and tide pool animals galore; all of it thanks to a throng and a half of knowledgeable attendants.

By the time we left, I couldn’t even remember that silly animated classic, but in all fairness, I was a bit hungry. I get a bit goofy with my low blood sugar, but that’s no discredit.

But here’s the real testament to how much fun it was. Since we spent half our days in San Francisco in the general area of Pier 39, we had plenty of exposure to the place. Every single time we went back down there, brother Patrick asked if we’d be able to go back and see the animals again. Sometimes he got upset that we couldn’t do it, no matter what other fun stuff we had on the roster. The fact that he liked it enough to beg we go back tells me it made quite an impact on him, and I think that’s the highest compliment an attraction can attain.

They even have a guided behind-the-scenes tour with one of their naturalists for those fish loving spectators like my brother Patrick who cannot get enough fishy morsals of knowledge by visiting the aquarium alone. To find out what goes on behind-the-scenes make your reservation at 415-623-5376. And as if that wasn’t enough they’ve got a private aquarium party room and host sleepovers under the sea!

Aquarium of the Bay is located in San Francisco at Pier 39 with summer hours of 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Hours may change seasonly so call 1-888-SEA-DIVE. Also, you can buy your tickets online or at the door for individuals or groups so check them out online at their website for seasonal adjustments and updates.

boy pets shark
Above – Unlike traditional petting Aquaria, not only can you pet the starfish, but also the spotty sharks. Not just that but there are people dedicated entirely to standing by with you so you don’t do it improperly and lose a leg or anything crazy like that Just like with Baby-D petting the Starfish, though, Daddy-O had to hold me fast so I wouldn’t take my own mini liberties with the friendly fishfolk.
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