Hey, listen, I like your frog-mobile, I really do, but rules are rules and even though I don’t know what they are I’m pretty sure I can point and mutter this quietly: You can’t park your frog here.
Yes, we’re all very impressed that your Frogasuarus Rex made it through mud, sea, sand, and stretches of highway to get here. I’m sure both you and your amphibious friend are plenty tired after your 3-day Arcata to Ferndale pilgrimage. And I know you think that entitles you to all kinds of legal exemptions, but no matter all that, you still have to obey the law.
Hey, If I was allowed to drive I’d want a car like that. It’s attractive without a doubt. The appeal is clear, it’s a frog after all, I got it. Now, let’s pause to look at your legality. There’s no blinkers, no seatbelts, and despite four attractive articulate limbs, there’s no bumper in sight.
So in case I haven’t been clear: You can’t park your frog here! You’re goofing up traffic, you’re distracting passers by and, with all this uncommon attention, your frog is creating a nuisance. Frankly, I think you’re going to run me down if I stand here explaining myself much longer.
iIf you disagree with me, take it up with your local lawmakers, but in the meantime you need to take your bloated pseudo-Kermit and hop it on off the city street. Even though it’s me talking, it’s really the dull roar of your own commonsense welling up within you.
Now move it, Buster, I’ve got bigger fish to fry. Okay, maybe not bigger but the sticks are surely tastier.
| Editor’s Note: |