No road trip would be complete without the obligatory visits to family along our path, and as fate would have it my wee baking cousins were right along the way.
These famous kinfolk of mine are handsome, Irish and compact like me, but unlike myself these pointy-eared eccentrics live in hollowed out trees as pictured here. In order to protect secret family recipes no cameras are allowed inside, but if you want a taste of what makes these cookies so special, just pick yourself up a good pound of E.L.Fudge and go crazy. No one’s going to think less of you, go on, get to gorging.
Their laboratory slash kitchen’s location was long kept a secret from the outside world but everyone knows now it’s just south of Phillipsville, California, near Hobbiton USA. Despite a rich and soggy tradition of devising snacks in Ireland, Area 51 and for a brief but explainable period in Siberia, my elven brethren now operate in the milder climbs of the Redwood forest.
Incidentally, while you’re there the locals will try to beckon you into the paid land of Hobbiton, a cheesy Lord of the Rings rip-off. Save your money my dear friends, it’s nothing to see compared to the free stuff and there’s no refund for disappointment at the end.
In parting I’m told to reiterate that Keebler cookies taste so good because they’re sprinkled with both love and magic. The new morsel I can offer you (with permission because I’m family of course) is that the kernel puts a secret ingredient in it that makes you crave it fortnightly… It’s an inside joke as well as a long story, pay me no mind. I’m drunk on chocolate and should probably go lay down.
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