Since our purchase of the Nintendo Wii last year, we’ve been doing our best to consider games as they come around, and do our best to review them as it’s appropriate. We’ve been shopping since then like regular folk, but we’ve been suckered in to at least a couple lackluster Wii purchases, and this terrible game is just one such example.
Of all the bad games that exist, and believe me we have more than a few of them already in our possession, this one tops even that already pre-shortened, extremely terrible list.
“Offroad Extreme: Special Edition” has nothing in common with its namesake. It’s not extreme, it’s not special, and if it’s an “edition” I’ll be damned… as for “offroad”, well, that’s not even a word… it’s two words. That right there should tell you how much time the developers put into thinking about it.
As other reviewers have, I’ll swear inside out that nobody involved in developing this worthless pile of garbage ever had the privilege of playing it.
So in case you don’t feel like reading on, let’s just quickly say right now that “Offroad Extreme: Special Edition” has earned a solid zero-star rating, out of a possible “any number of stars”. Words like “crap” don’t assume the full glory of how terrible it is.
If we should actually talk about the game, you could look here in the post below:
1 – The controls are so sluggish, unresponsive and detached from the game that you could perfectly well wonder if the game you’re playing has any bearing on the actions on the screen.
2 – The first level is nearly unplayable. There are sharp cliffs, abject hazards, and other equally unplayable aspects.
3 – Errors a’ plenty – When you fall off a cliff, and you will, you’ll find yourself falling into, I don’t know, I guess, the sky or something.
4 – Upgrade cars and your ability to unlock them are entirely out of reach.
This game was an afterthought at best. A last minute adaptation to the new platform designed entirely to prey on discount-bin moms propensity to buy bargain basement garbage, no matter how poor the true value may be, no matter how lackluster the actual delivery may be, and no matter how regrettable the games that result (this one, for example) may be.
For $20 you could buy this game, or you could buy, I don’t know, anything else… the latter is the recommendation. Seriously, buy anything else before you buy this one. And if you’re a merchant still selling this title, you’re effectively criminal in your complicity to fraud. This game doesn’t work, doesn’t play, and isn’t worth the paper it isn’t printed on.
It only took me two hours from the time of purchase to realize what garbage it was, and try to return it. In a normal world, I’d have been able to do just that. I bought a toaster, it didn’t make toast, I could return it, right?
Well games are different than that, because apparently degrees of toast are somehow so subjective that merchants won’t acknowledge the problem, even if the toast comes out pale as Caspar. It’s all part of the merchandising agreement, which is sad, and makes no sense from the perspective of the consumer, or the merchant.
Even though I’d only bought it two hours before, I was unable to return the title as defective, unless I wished to exchange it for the exact same, equally defective title.
I took it in stride, and vowed instead to make game manufacturers send me free titles in the future. You don’t have that luxury, so here’s my advice instead.
1 – Don’t buy anything unless you read a review before buying it.
2 – If they won’t let you return an “opened” title, except for an exchange… just agree, take the exchange, and return your new, unopened title the next day for cash back… the second copy isn’t opened, so you’re entitled to get your cash back.
3 – Just go Google “wii homebrew”… apparently you can mod your Wii without cracking in to the hardware, and without voiding your warranty, and you can download all the games you could ever wan. Just by paying the 20-50 cents it costs to burn a DVD, you can have all the games you could ever want.
We’re not advocating piracy here, but if games like Offroad Extreme: Special Edition are entitled to protectionist measures, then you’re entitled to know about the only ways around them that the very technology provides.